Why doesn’t the US bomb the freaking closet!!??

The world of physics is anxiously anticipating with the LHC’s first beam, which happens in just a few hours. They are excited about the possibility CERN’s newest machine finding the Higgs’s boson, clues about what makes up dark matter or dark energy, and for hints of physics beyond the standard model.

But apparently what is causing furor among the general public is the possibility of a black hole swallowing the Earth on the wake of the LHC’s particle collisions. Hundreds of heraldsun.com.au readers flocked to the website to comment on the “news” about these doomsday conspiracy theories.

One of the concerned readers tried to send an appeal to their neighbours across the Pacific:

“if it is so dangerous why doesnt the US and that try to stop it from being activated, WE HAVE LIVES TO LIVE, DONT RISK IT!”

In the actual article, you can find that some guys are suing CERN on the grounds that “should the LHC destroy the universe, it would ‘violate the right to life and right to private family life'”. Yeah, I guess there’s not much privacy in a black hole. It’s kinda tight in there…

There’s a lot of anti-scientist anger:

“Why the hell are you trying to kill us all. bunch of pricks. dont fool around with the world you bunch of idiots tramps. weird ppl” or “This is the most stupidest idea i think any scientist could come up with who knows what can happen , i reckon they are doing it cus they are old twats who dont care.”

followed by the things that really matter:

“As long as the world ends when Collingwood are last start winners who cares?”.

But the most desperate of them all seems to be this one:


And finally there’s the worried mum:

“This is stupid, why do it seriously! im so angry ppppfffffftttt Do you know how worried younger kids are now!?!?! Its spreading all around schools.”

Poor kids… I suppose we should also do something about the monster in the closet… maybe ask the US to bomb it or something.


2 thoughts on “Why doesn’t the US bomb the freaking closet!!??

  1. Hehe… It also reminds me of an interview I saw with Richard Dawkins, the real-life Oolon Colluphid. Except that he wrote “The God Delusion” instead of “Well, that about wraps it up for God”.

    One of the questions in the interview is something like: “People are intimidated by your message and it puts their own faith in doubt.” “Why would anybody be intimidated by mere words? Neither I or any other aitheist I know never threat violence, never threaten to fly planes into skycrapers… all we do is use words to talk about things like the cosmos, evolution, the origin of the universe… what’s there to be frigthened of in just an opinion?”

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